Wedding Plus-One Etiquette: A Guide to Navigating Invitations, Gifts, and More
Receiving a wedding invitation can be exciting, but when there’s a plus-one involved, questions about etiquette can quickly arise. Should you bring a guest if you’re given the option? How much should you spend on a gift as a couple? Here’s a guide to help you navigate the world of wedding plus-one etiquette and make sure you’re both on your best behavior.
Should You Bring a Plus-One?
The golden rule of plus-one etiquette: Only bring a guest if the invitation specifically allows it. If your invite is addressed to you "and guest," you’re welcome to bring someone, but don’t assume. It’s also considerate to bring someone you know well, especially for smaller or more intimate weddings where the couple may want to focus on close relationships.
How Much to Spend on a Wedding Gift as a Couple
Gift-giving as a couple can sometimes feel tricky, but the general rule is to take the relationship and the wedding’s significance into account. Also factor in where you live (for instance, if you live closer to a city, the prices will probably go up). Here are some guidelines:
- Acquaintance or Distant Friend: If you’re attending as a plus-one or the couple isn’t particularly close, it’s common to spend around $100 on a gift.
- Close Friend or Family Member: For weddings where you or your partner are very close to the couple, it’s thoughtful to spend around $150-$200 from you and your partner.
- Luxury Weddings: If you’ve been invited to a lavish affair, the couple is likely spending more to host you, so it’s appropriate to increase your gift budget—around $200-$300 or more, depending on your relationship.
While there’s no hard-and-fast rule, consider what you feel comfortable spending and what reflects the significance of the relationship.
Should You Coordinate Gifts as a Couple?
If you’re attending the wedding as a couple, it’s best to give one gift from both of you. Coordinating your gift avoids any awkwardness and simplifies the gesture. Make sure both parties contribute fairly, depending on their budget and relationship with the couple. If you’re unfamiliar with the couple, consult your partner on what they think would be most appreciated.
What About Bringing a Guest to the Ceremony Only?
If you’re invited to the wedding but not offered a plus-one for the reception, don’t push the issue. Only attend the parts of the event that you’re explicitly invited to. The couple may have budget or space restrictions, so respect their decision.
RSVP on Time
When attending a wedding with a plus-one, it’s especially important to RSVP on time. Couples plan their seating and meals based on headcount, and a delayed response can throw off their arrangements. If you’re bringing a guest, confirm their attendance before sending in your RSVP so there are no last-minute changes.
Be Gracious Guests
As a plus-one, you’re representing the person who invited you, so be sure to bring your best behavior. Be polite to the couple, their families, and other guests. Introduce yourself to people you don’t know and thank the couple for including you in their special day.
What If You Break Up Before the Wedding?
If you and your plus-one break up before the wedding, contact the couple as soon as possible. Let them know that your guest won’t be attending, or ask if you can bring someone else (if appropriate). The earlier you communicate, the easier it will be for the couple to adjust plans.
Plus-One Etiquette for Destination Weddings
If you’re attending a destination wedding and bringing a guest, plan your travel arrangements together, and be mindful of how much time you’re spending with the couple. Destination weddings often have more group activities, but make sure to balance your time between the wedding events and enjoying your trip as a duo. Also, when it comes to gifts, it’s acceptable to spend a bit less since destination weddings can be expensive to attend.
Say Thank You
Whether you're the main guest or attending as a plus-one, always express your gratitude. Thank the couple for inviting you and allowing you to bring a guest, as it's a privilege—not a right. Even a simple thank-you note or a warm message after the wedding goes a long way.